Broken

In Aldous Huxley’s A Brave New World, humanity ventures to the forgotten wastelands of civilization, the Savage Reservations, to catch a glimpse of the pain and suffering associated with birth, family, monogamy, and old age. In the New World which the majority of humanity now finds themselves, life is a euphoric paradise conditioned in their minds to suit their inevitable role in society. Pain, disease, sorrow, desire…all of these are done away with in order to create a world of heavenly happiness, a world of pleasant conformity that allows no trace of sorrow to slip through. In a very real sense, humanity has found heaven on earth. Yet anyone who has read Huxley’s work comes to undeniable conclusion that this Brave New World might have more in common with Hell than Heaven.

Over the years I have often come to question the character of God, a being that in one breath is all powerful, all knowing, all loving, all just, and yet has created a world that is so full of horror and pain that it stands to reason that some of these attributes must stand in contrast to the others. An illogical God if you well. I recognize that I am simply restating a question that haunted all religious tradition throughout the centuries, be it Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Islamic, etc. The inevitable paradox of God’s nature and power, seemingly standing in contradiction to one another for all eternity. The Christians throw out Calvinism, Free Will, Open Theism, Predestination, and The Fall in an attempt to reconcile this paradigm while the Buddhist simply admit that life is suffering but through suffering brings life and enlightenment. Each religion battles this question in its own terms and amazingly enough, are able to come up with a wide variety of answers. Yet maybe what we are missing is the beauty and truth that is captured in this seeming absurdity of reason.

Possibly it is the very flawed character of humanity that enables the truth and beauty that we have come to value so highly. We are a society that values the tragedy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet and can look upon the sadness and angst of Vango’s masterworks and recognize the beauty in those dark brush strokes. It is through the heart breaking loss of a lover that we truly find ourselves and our reaction to injustice and suffering that define our character. So much of our individuality is wrapped up in our likes and dislikes, yet a “perfect world” could never exist unless we all agreed to collectively like and dislike the exact same things. It is the imperfections of our world that define and shape our being; heartbreak and love, danger and courage, violence and peace, anger and mercy. How could we truly know the depths of our humanity with out all of these things? Oddly enough, it seems as though it is through a shattered glass that we best catch a reflection of ourselves and of God.

Yet here I sit in a land where so often the darkness seems so dark and the pain so painful that one has to question if it all worth while. Would I trade all of this, my very self, for a Brave New World of happy sameness? Yet even here, in a place of so much suffering, children are born, weddings are had, laughter is shared, and individuals are defined and strengthened through the perseverance of such trails. Even here there is beauty and hope…and life. 

Who Will Protect These?

As many of you who watch the news or keep up with this blog are well aware of, the situation in Darfur is hitting staggering new lows. During the last few months the signatory rebel groups have splintered into numerous new fractions, the Arab militias/ Janjaweed have expressed raising anger towards the government, and the Sudanese military has increased its attacks on rebel strong holds in East Jebel Marra. Within the greater context of Darfur specifically and conflict ravaged countries in general, this cycle of violence and escalation in hostilities is somewhat normal, although depressing. But in recent months the targeting of INGOs and the UN by rebel groups and government a like has taken a drastic up turn.

On December 18th two INGO compounds in Geraida (the largest IDP camp in the world) where attacked by armed militia resulting in the sever beating of both national and international staff and one of the international members being raped. During the raid numerous shots where fired at the personnel and 12 vehicles and supplies where stolen. That marks the third and most violent attack on INGO compounds in the month, and puts the number of INGO vehicles stolen in the past 60 days to well over 30. These attacks have resulted in all the INGOs evacuating the camp, leaving over 130,000 people without access to basic needs. In addition, the splintering of the rebel group who supposedly controls the camp means that no one knows who to hold accountable for these crimes.

More recently, an NGO compound in Nyala was raided this weekend by the Sudanese National Security based on reports of drinking and the presence of Sudanese nationals, male and female. Under Sharia Law non-Muslims are allowed to consume alcohol, but Muslims are strictly forbidden. Additionally, Muslim women should not be at such an event unaccompanied by their husband. During the raid 19 UN and INGO employees where severely beaten, the women harassed, and all of them thrown in prison. While the UN was eventually able to secure their release the Sudanese government is demanding the immediate arrest of several UN staff members in total defiance of the UN’s immunity under their mandate. During the course of the negotiations the Sudanese Government placed the head of OCHA in prison while he was representing the INGO community to the government in an attempt to resolve the issue through proper channels. In response to the excessive use force, threats, and the refusal to respect established international law the UN has ceased all operations of 48 hours and are considering pulling out altogether.

Things remain tense throughout Nyala and everyone is faced with the difficult question of how to continue to support those in need when the protection of staff and security of the operations in nearly impossible to control. Like Goma in 1994, the humanitarian community is pressed between the proverbial rock and hard place. The increase in fighting is displacing thousands and the winter season means conditions are more difficult then normal. But with access restricted and safety unpredictable at best, the problems simply seem to mount. The next few weeks could certainly be defining for Darfur…and sets a very important precedent for the rest of the world.

How is it that the lows are always able to get lower? 

Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears Da Bears

It has been a while since I last up dated this but an event of such momentous proportions has occurred that I simply had to write and share my joy with the world! THE BEARS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! Now while there are numerous other things taking place in Darfur right now, I feel that I so rarely get an opportunity to write the simple emails of daily joy, and this moment my friends is truly joyous, that I will postpone for a day on the Darfur drama to reveal in the Bear's victory!

Now I am sure there are many of you out there who could care less about the Bear's victory...if you live in any country other then the US for example, or if your from New Orleans...but I ask you to simply open your minds a bit and grasp hold of a beautiful part of American culture, tail gate parties, grown men running into each other at full speed, body paint, wearing animal logos on your head...its all part of what makes America great (that and freedom and democracy and blah blah blah...). But this victory is something of a mile stone for the US...like Independence Day or the millennium...because you see, 21 years ago the greatest Football team ever assembled brought victory and glory to the fine city of Chicago, bringing the world together under the chorus of the Super Bowl Shuffle. Now, 21 years later a new Bears team has emerged to re-capture the lost spirit of the mid-eighties (power bangs, bright colors, and zebra striped elastic pants...I mean who wouldn't want to recapture that spirit?)

I recognize that this posting is a bit delayed...but you must take into account the difficulty of trying to watch an American football game in Darfur. After searching long and hard to find the game live on my Arabic Satellite TV, I was crushed to discover that it wasn't possible. But undaunted I was able to find a replay of the game the following day. So I spent my Monday avoiding email and even making sure not to watch the BBC for fear of them venturing into the realm of US sports. So this evening at 7pm my time I settled in for 2 hours of what might be described as one of the more beautiful events in sports history. Of course no one here could care less so I watched the game alone and my shouts and cheers fell on apathetic ears. So now I will try to share my joy with the world through the exciting world of blogging...enjoy!

Enough rambling for now...I will write a more depressing blog tomorrow, but for now I will go to sleep happy! 

Beaches, Beer, Hammocks, and Motorcycles

Unfortunately I find myself writing this post from my all too familiar office nestled in the heart of Nyala. Only a few short days ago I was lying on the beautiful white sand beaches of Zanzibar Island and now I find myself in the surprisingly cold(winter in Sudan...who would have thought?) dust bowl of Darfur.

After 6 months straight in Darfur (stupid American travel restrictions…why can’t I be Swiss, everyone loves the Swiss) I finally got a much needed break. To be honest it was a bit of an anticlimatical moment. During the 6 months, I sat anxiously waiting for news of the travel restrictions being lifted…and then one night over dinner a friend from USAID casually mentioned that I was free to move again. I was expecting fireworks and parades…all I got was a pat on the back and a valid travel pass (which in my mind was the most valuable thing in the world at that point). Wondering where I should go two options lay heavy on my mind. The first was trying to make it back to Chicago for Christmas with the fam, the second was Zanzibar Island with friends from Boston. Now while family is very important to me, the idea of passing up white sandy beaches on the Indian Ocean for cold and dreary Chicago just didn’t seem sane. So instead of winter hats and mittens I threw some shorts and sun screen into my bag and jetted off to wonderful Zanzibar!

I was there for nearly 3 weeks, during which the most stressful thing I did was play in the afternoon volleyball game (which I was able to do with a beer in my hand) or walk down the beach to find which restaurant I wanted to gorge myself on sea food at. Most of my day was spent sleeping in hammock under the palm trees and the sea breezes rocked me back and forth. By sunset I had usually worked up enough energy to float in the ocean and a glass of wine before dinner.

That’s not to say that my time wasn’t full of excitement. There was a toga party where I thought Europe how to play “flippy-cup” and “beer pong” and of course no New Years on Zanzibar would be complete without honoring Freddy Mercury with lots of cool mustaches! Drew and I had plenty of motorcycle riding along the wide open roads of the tropical paradise and we even managed to dazzle the locals with our Frisbee ability. After three weeks of this life my body and mind have recovered enough to will myself back to work in the ever increasing mess that is Darfur.

So to all who may still read this blog, I hope that you had a wonderful holiday and I wish you all the best. Sorry about the lack of photos…my camera was unfortunately swiped by someone who is surely getting a good laugh at the photos on my camera…o well such is life.

And don’t worry I promise to write some type of melodramatic post about the deteriorating situation in Darfur some time in the near future…but for now just let me bask in my Zanzibarian memories and pretend that all of this sand around me still means I am at the beach.